The only reason you are sacrificing your true calling.

You are bored, unsatisfied and probably need some extra income.  Your heart is singing out to try something new that will excite you, stimulate you, allow you to be around the kids and be your own boss.  Sounds fantastic.  So why then do you end up looking through the job ads looking for something you can do standing on your head, giving endless justifications for stomping on and sacrificing what could potentially be your dream lifestyle?

If I could have a £1 for all the excuses I have heard for not starting a solo enterprise, I would be sunning myself on a private Island in the Maldives.  Because seriously ladies, it is excuses I hear, not as you would believe, good reasons, for not giving a new venture a go.

Now I might be sounding rude but I have earned that right as someone that has been exactly where you are right now.

Does this sound like some of the reasons you are giving yourself for not trying a new venture?

“I need a steady income”

“I don’t have the skills”

“I don’t have the talent”

“The kids take up too much of my time”

“How would I keep on top of everything else I have to do”

“Starting up a profitable hobby or business costs too much”

“There are so many people out there that are so much better than me”

Any of those sound familiar?

Those are not reasons my friend.

Yup, well those are excuses not reasons.  They are your ‘get out of jail free’ card to not actually facing up to the single fact that is really at the bottom of your procrastination.

You are scared.

OK, so I can hear you baulking at that one, but trust me on this one.

You are scared that you are not good enough, that you won’t be liked, that you will fail.

And you know what, that is so fine and normal.  As long as you are prepared to confront what precisely it is that you fear, stare it full in the face, acknowledge it and move on.

There have been moments when I would rather clean the oven than do something in my business I have been avoiding.  And I am the Queen of putting up some fabulous ‘reasons’ for not doing certain tasks.  I could write a book on them.  But when I ask the magic question, “Why am I choosing to avoid this task”, the answer is always because I am fearing something.

I remember when I used to avoid putting video recordings on Facebook.  The spin in my head used to go something like this:

“Oh, it’s quicker if I type something up”

“I’m not ready for this yet”

“I haven’t got any make-up on”

“My roots are showing though, so I need to colour my hair first” (Yes, I really did say that to myself!)

“I sound awful on recordings”

But when I asked myself why I was choosing to avoid doing a recording, it was really about my fears.  Fear that people wouldn’t like me or what I had to say.  Fear that I didn’t look perfect or sound perfect (and I know that perfection is over rated, really it is).

Then I was set a challenge with a group of people, to post a video.  OMG, I was shaking, I probably recorded that 1 minute about 5 times over.  I didn’t have makeup on and I certainly had some roots showing through but I was not going to be the only one in the group that didn’t rise to the challenge.  I just did it.

I got over my fears and mostly, myself.  Is that first ever recording worthy of an Oscar – of course not.  Is it cringeworthy, maybe.  Did it get likes, well actually yes, quite a few.  Did I get a call from the video police threatening me with life imprisonment if I ever dared to do one again – no, because they don’t exist.

Once you truly know what is stopping you (and it’s not the fact that the oven is greasy) then you can begin to move forward.  Once your fear is out in the open then it has nowhere to hide, the reasons fall away to what they really are, excuses.

So then you have choices.  You can choose to let the fear consume you or you can work out how to deal with it.  And you know the smart thing about this is?  That suddenly your excuses become steps you successfully tackle and navigate through and before you know it, you are on the path to what you really crave and deserve.

Now surely that’s got to beat cleaning the oven?

Go on, I dare you – give it a go.  Think of something that you really want to do but are giving yourself your version of justification for not doing it.  Be honest with yourself, in the words of Joan Armatrading, it’s just – me, myself and I.

Want a structured approach to finding your happy place?  Check out my new book .

Photo by Jad Limcaco on Unsplash

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